By simulating the dreams from our sleep, we decipher the subconscious and blur Murakami's supernatural line by 'living in dreams for the rest of time.”
A “blood protector” re-lives a vivid dream where the message for love is loud and clear. The person they want to be will always protect their own, no matter how ugly. Even if the person who needs love is themself.
I open my eyes to face my dream.
I am babysitting two children in a supermarket. One is feral, and one is tame. The tame one appears to be my child. The feral one appears to be an orphan. I catch the cretinous one eating their own vomit at the check-out register. They are oblivious to their action. I can’t seem to bear the responsibility of this grotesque child.
Another adult picks them up and leaves. Thank God, I am relieved of my custodial duties. As I walk home, I see this little toddler drowning in a gutter with the ghost of their body floating mid-air. The person who was meant to take care of him watches on passively. Fuck that. I intervene. I pick the child up and pump the water from their chest. The sadness of the scene melts my heart.
I love this little kid despite their stench. They deserve my love more than anyone. We walk home together. The tamer child holds the feral one’s hand. Giving them a kiss and a big hug. They are both my children. They always were. I just couldn’t see it.
Simulation complete.