Think-it-Out
What is a small thing in your life right now that you are going to take ownership of in this season? What is an example of a small thing that you accomplished in your life that opened doors to a bigger opportunity? (For example, doing a great job as a cashier at a coffee shop can open doors for shift manager and store manager.) Do you have a vision for increase? If yes, what inspired you to adopt that vision? If no, what steps could you take to “see” increase in your future? Is discipline something that comes naturally to you or do you have to fight for it? List some ways discipline can help you to pass this test.
Live-it-Out
How are you preparing yourself for your next opportunity? (For example, commit to one new habit each month and list out the habits you plan to acquire). Decide what the next step looks like to expand beyond your comfort zone and set a goal date to accomplish it. Memorize Luke 16:10 as a reminder when you’re in the middle of the Test of Small Things.
Sex Addcition:
50% of our lives are stuck in habit land. Automatic, reactive, responses — not conscious choosing. 3 phases: trigger → thought → action. The action you end up taking is incongruent and inconsistent with the man you want to be.
Triggers:
Provocative Image→ Derogatory Comment → Compulsive Action.
Emotional Pain → Sexual Intoxication → Warped Perversion
The trigger awakens a shadow self. It’s in conflict with your light, yet has a need that’s screaming to be heard. It acts out, until the pain and pattern is blaring enough for you attend to it. It will derail your life until you give it your attention. These disowned parts need you help, condemnation will only get them so scream louder and act or more.
This behaviour that gets activated has been doing this for many many years and kicks into gear as an automatic to get this need met. Until you are clear on the source need, and heal the core entanglement, then the habit will resume its automatic programming cycle. The behavuojr is meeting needs, maybe not in a healthy way, but in a way that you have not figured out how to give it what it wants in any other way. All bad habits serve a purpose. Until you love the ‘broken, disowned, or ugly parts’ of you, then the bad habits will continue, until they are loved and heard.
Until you love your addict, you’ll hate who you are, and the addict will run your life. To interrupt your habit cycle is to change your life. Until you master this, your triggers will master you.
Results:
self love, awareness, respect, esteem, control.
other: intimacy, respect, connection, reverence.
Pro activity instead of re activity in every area of lIfe.
Shadow awareness
Constant reprogramming.
Mindfulness habit.
Personal infrastructure.
Parts Are Not Their Burdens (habits, addictions)
This distinction between parts and the burdens they carry is crucial because many of the world’s problems are related to the error that most paradigms for understanding the mind make: to mistake the burden for the part that carries it. It’s common to believe that a person who gets high all the time is an addict who has an irresistible urge to use drugs. That belief leads to combatting that person’s urge with opioid antagonists, with recovery programs that can have the effect of polarizing the addictive part, or with the willpower of the addict. If, on the other hand, you believe that the part that seeks drugs is protective and carries the burden of responsibility for keeping this person from severe emotional pain or even suicide, then you would treat the person very differently. You could instead help them get to know that part and honor it for its attempts to keep them going and negotiate permission to heal or change what it protects.- No bad parts
It’s as if each part is like a person with a true purpose. Then you would help the person heal by returning to the now liberated “addict” part and help it unburden all its fear and responsibility. Unburdening is another aspect of IFS that seems spiritual, because as soon as the burdens leave parts’ bodies, parts immediately transform into their original, valuable states. It’s as if a curse was lifted from an inner Sleeping Beauty, or ogre, or addict. The newly unburdened part almost universally says it feels much lighter and wants to play or rest, after which it finds a new role. The former addict part now wants to help you connect with people. The hypervigilant part becomes an advisor on boundaries. The critic becomes an inner cheerleader, and so on. - No bad parts