Blinded by my own pride, I set out to inform Zondra of the ways that I loved her sacrificially, the way Christ loves the Church. As my mind sought examples, however, I was thoroughly stumped. I mentioned a few things I had done for her. But the truth was, I did just enough to get by and there was often a kickback for me. The more I evaluated my “love” for her, the more I realized that convenience or putting on a show for others to see was almost always involved. As much as I hated to admit it, she was right. I was consumed with myself and my own interests.
I remember the moment of those realizations as if it were yesterday. I was like King David when he was rebuked by Nathan the prophet (2 Samuel 12:1-13). My mouth had been silenced by Zondra’s words. I had never really loved my wife the way I thought I had. I came to realize that although I believed that “two shall become one,” I, of course, was the one. There followed a week of unforgettable grief and remorse. It was as if my pious world had come crashing in on me. The realities about my lack of biblical love were earth-shaking ones that I continued to recognize in all areas of my daily living. I began to see what others must have long since observed in my life. Thanks to my dear wife, who loved me enough to tell me the truth, God began a much needed work in my heart.
The intent of this account is to illustrate my need for understanding concerning my love for Zondra. Like a builder preparing to build a home, I had to do some personal surveying before I could establish where I needed to begin building. I was lacking in true concern for her interests. My selfishness was a lack of mature Christian character. I have entitled this book, The Exemplary Husband, because of its emphasis on a man’s walk and character. The word exemplary sums up the husband’s responsibility in marriage to live what God instructs. Only one other word could describe it better. That word is Christlikeness.